10 07 17

I have been struggling with pornography and masturbation for the longest period now. So a few days ago I was flipping through the channels and here I was at Family TV, a Christian TV station.

There was this pastor preaching and at first he was not interesting. Then as he continued preaching he touched on his life in ministry and his struggle with pornography. All my attention was caught and put down the things I was doing and focused.

He talked of how he struggled with pornography even as a pastor, he prayed and even called for deliverance from a fellow pastor but all in vain nothing happened and he felt shuttered. His wife was in the dark about his struggle and he feared to be condemned if anyone knew his long guarded secret.

Then God revealed to him how he longed for a relationship with him, he realized he was not focusing on what God was feeling about this despicable act but was only focusing on what people would think of him.

He read John chapter 14 and he realized God was urging him to have a relationship with him that would make him not want to annoy God, because he wanted to maintain the relationship.

After nine months, he fasted for four days and at the end of the fasting he was delivered and was set free. This great testimony touched my heart. I thought to myself that maybe I did not have a relationship with God. I fear God instead of regarding him as a father who wanted me to love him more and not want to grieve Him with my deeds.

Today I am yearning for a relationship with God and slowly I am seeing a change in my life. I know God is faithful and will not disappoint me because I have trusted in Him.

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